Leap of Faith

I have been reading The Best American Nonrequired Reading Edited by Dave Eggers. My favorite selection was: The Best American Answers to the Question "What Do You Believe is True Even if You Cannot Prove It?" . This in in turn was excerpted from the Edge Foundation(http://www.edge.org/). It got me thinking about how I would answer.

I believe that I get personal messages from God. I know how irrational that sounds. I don't want to delve into it (that is the mental health social worker part of me talking.) The odd thing is, sometimes I act on these beliefs and messages. Sometimes I act with unconciouseness. In review I understand the implications of my actions. Most of the time I have this awareness and I think "isn't that nice, this could almost almost be evidence of what my Dad called listening to the Holy Spirit." Sometimes I feel compelled to share this awareness with others, despite my best judgements.
I realize how our brains work at interpeting the greater world. That it is our nature to look for meaning and relationships between objects and ourselves. I understand that I am choosing how to interpret the random coincidences that happen everyday. I can't even find a way to wrap my mind around the idea that there is a being - who is supreme - who is all knowing and personal. (I label myslef as an evangelical agnostic.) I have been told that if I persist in the thought that there is another life force that has personal interest in my outcome, I am devalueing all that I do for myself, my family and my community.
But what can I do - at least this fixed and persistent delusion gives me comfort - and energy to keep on working in the world.